Keeping Your Marriage Business Private

Keeping Your Marriage Business Private

With almost 30 years of Marriage Counseling experience we have discovered that it is critical to keep your marriage business private. This is true when things are going well and also when things are not going so well. It is particularly important if your marriage or family is in crisis.

This does not mean that you should have to handle the hurt and pain all by yourself. When you are in pain it is important to have someone to talk with. That person should not be a friend or a family member.

It may seem like they would be the best person to share with, but that is not so.

Why?

It hurts trust between you and your spouse. You spouse may feel embarrassed when you share your relationship difficulties with family or friends. It is very disrespectful. Would you want your flaws exposed to others outside the privacy of marriage? Often, when we go to others asking for prayer, we are actually using this as an opportunity to gossip about our mate and line up support for our side of the conflict. If we air our dirty linen and later you and your spouse have “made up” the person you shared with may still have negative feelings about your spouse. When we get advice from family or friends we may get “one sided” advice. They most likely will not be impartial. They may care more about you than the truth. When you share your “version” of the truth, it may not be accurate. In all of our years of Marriage Counseling, we have rarely seen a situation where both spouses did not have some of the responsibility. What kind of axe to grind does your confidant have? Since half of all marriages end in divorce, it is likely that the person you are seeking help from may have hurts or prejudices that affect their advice. A classic example would be getting marriage advice from a divorced friend who is angry at their ex spouse.

Of course it is important to get help when you need it. We recommend that you choose the appropriate marriage counselor to get the help from. If you and you mate cannot calmly talk out the situation, then seek guidance from your Pastor or a qualified Marriage Counselor. Don’t make the mistake of making a bad situation worse.

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About Marriage Rescue Associates | Christian Marriage Counseling

With over 23 years of experience, Marriage Rescue Associates have discovered many effective methods for helping couples restore their family and marriages. As Christian Marriage Counselors, Marriage Rescue Associates can help construct solutions to rekindle love and rebuild trust that has been torn down by endless conflict, indifference, and unmet needs.

Don’t let your marriage or family become another statistic when you can actually do something to change it.

Seek out Marriage Counseling from an experienced Marriage Counselor that understands your situation and makes you feel comfortable with them.

Visit us online at www.marriagerescue.org

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Kristen Houghton: Rededicate Your Marriage at Hanukkah

No matter what your personal spiritual beliefs may be, there is something magical in lighting candles. The mystery and the beauty of the flame catching the wick brings a glow of light and hope that seems to reconnect us to those we love. The lighting of the menorah at Hanukkah symbolizes this re-dedication to life. The word Hanukkah derives from the Hebrew verb ???, meaning "to dedicate."

Most people know something of the history behind the lighting of the menorah for Hanukkah. Spiritual beliefs and religions give us many beautiful traditions. You and your spouse can use Hanukkah as a rededication of your love for each other and a reaffirmation of the eternal flame of your marriage. Your own personal victory can be seen as the knowledge that, no matter what, your marriage can triumph over the enemies known as anger and careless words.

Hanukkah is a holy time of joy. Decorations in blue and silver adorn many houses, and special foods are prepared. Make a date with your husband to share what has to be done to get ready for the holiday. Be specific in asking for his help. If all the work of preparation falls only to you, you will be too exhausted to enjoy the holiday.

Do you need help buying the presents? How about some assistance wrapping them? Believe it or not, more men than you know do like to help, because it makes them feel a real part of the celebration. As for wrapping, if he doesn't try, he'll never master it!

Can he help you with the cooking? There is something so intimate and beautiful in preparing a meal together. If food is one of the staples of life, then shouldn't the preparation of it be a labor of love shared? Remember that some of the world's most famous chefs are men. Just be careful not to criticize him if he decides to get a bit "creative" with a recipe that has been handed down to you from three generations on your mother's side of the family! Variety is good, too.

What are your holiday traditions? How do you light the menorah? Make this beautiful ceremony a moment of love. Hold hands and say a prayer together. Let each candle be lit for the love you have.

As far as traditions go, it is perfectly fine to create some of your own. One friend of mine told me that her mother-in-law didn't like the fact that there were three menorahs in different rooms of their house. Each one was lit. Her mother-in-law felt that it took away from the simplicity and tradition of using only one. Finally, my friend and her husband gently explained that they were starting a new tradition, one that they hoped she would honor.

A colleague of mine, a Sephardic Jew from Spain, has slightly different traditions from his wife's family, which traces its heritage back to Israel. This was apparent in the wording of certain prayers and food preferences. They decided to create their own tradition by incorporating a part of what each held dear during their childhoods into their marriage, thus honoring one another. Make different traditions work for you as a couple, not separate you.

Above all, make this holiday magical and filled with love. In all religions and spiritual beliefs, the loving relationship between a man and a woman is sacred and blessed by all that is holy.

Bless your Hanukkah, and each other, with love.

To read more from Kristen Houghton, peruse her articles at Kristen Houghton.com and visit her Keys to Happiness blog. Also, take a look inside her book, "And Then I'll Be Happy!" You may email her at
kch@kristenhoughton.com.

Copyright 2010 Kristen Houghton

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Benefiting From The Free Public Marriage Records

Virginia is a large state by population. With that, millions of Virginia Marriage Records that took place in this state are stored in its state archive and are open for public access. It has been said, however, that the state of Virginia is one of the toughest when it comes to obtaining these marriage records from government agencies.

Since Virginia is said to be strict in retrieving Virginia Marriage Records, only the immediate family of the married couple have the opportunity to get hold of such marriage records. These people include the father, mother, spouse and the child only. Furthermore, a photo I.D. is part of the requirement when requesting for such record. The marriage record is then made available 50 years after the date of the marriage.

Marriage Records Virginia can be retrieved at the Virginia Office of Vital Records, a department that reports straight into the State Department of Health. These records are restricted to be released only to the immediate families of the bride and the groom not until 50 years after the date of the marriage. In requesting for a particular marriage record, information such as the name of the groom, full maiden name of the bride and the time and location of the marriage should be provided for the request to be activated. In addition, a non-refundable fee is required even when there’s no result found for such search.

Marriage Records in Virginia can be requested in three different ways which are through walk-in, mail, and the express delivery. In walk-in, the requested information will be provided on the same day that you requested for it. It is by far, the fastest among the three. In mail requests, you have to wait for 5-10 business days for the request processing time. The third way requires certain fees prior to receiving the express service through VitalChek Network.

If those ways cause you hassles and discomfort, then you can always turn to commercial record providers. You just have to be clever enough to choose the right one for you and you can do that with the help or recommendations of specialists or review sites online before starting up. These highly rated providers are packed with money-back guarantee so that ensures security.

Nowadays, we don’t have to worry in retrieving records that happened many years back onto millions of individuals because we are surrounded with the information necessary for our research. Whatever our purpose is in doing the research, be it for genealogy, personal or legal, government agencies and the net can always help us.

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Virginia Marriage Records Online

With Virginia’s huge population, the state is also expected to have high percentage when it comes to its marriage cases and those marriage records are stored in the state repository for public consumption. The specific department that takes care of these files in the state of Virginia is the Virginia Office of Vital Records which is under the State Department of Health. Reportedly, the state does not provide the easiest way when it comes to providing information especially on Virginia Marriage Records through the government offices.

Although it’s public information, not everyone is given the privilege to access those marriage records in Virginia. The only ones that are permitted by the state are the father, mother, spouse, and child of the involved couple. Other than those individuals, the information can only be retrieved after 50 years from the date the couple was married. Some of the information that you must gather in advance prior to starting your search will be the name of the groom, full maiden name of the bride, and the information on the exact date and location of that particular marriage.

Most people, if not all, are now conducting their own Marriage Records Check for various good reasons. If you’re doing a family history research or you’re completing your family tree, the information that can be found in these marriage records is very useful. Apart from that, this can also be a good source of information if you’re about to get married and you wanted to make sure that you won’t have any regrets in choosing your future spouse. These documents are also relevant for any legal and serious cases that you’re dealing with.

Unlike a couple of years back, finding the information that you need is no longer a hard task to do now. Such development is brought about by the existence of computers as well as of the Internet. Various online databases are now accessible for you to easily find what you’re looking for. The services that are offered online can either be for free or it may require a small amount of charge. However, if what you need is convenience in searching and a type of result that is guaranteed to be done by professionals, then it would be reasonable enough to pay for the service.

Another important document is Marriage License Records. It also serves for purposes like genealogy studies, and in supporting legal proceedings such as divorce, identity and inheritance and in knowing your future spouse’s previous marriage, if any. Back in the old days, these files were searched through digging those piles of hard copy archive. But the later generation is fortunate enough to experience an easier way by just using a computer that has access to the Internet.

There will be three copies of marriage license records that will be handed to the requestor. The couple, the solemnization official, and the local government, each should have its own copy of this document. The Internet also provides the same information to anyone but it has to be taken into account that the government will only acknowledge those certified hard copies of the marriage license record when it comes to supporting any legal cases. Thus, as per the jurisdiction of most, if not all states, those that are obtained from online are not acceptable and are only good for casual purposes.

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Meet women meetings sites for the marriage of Philippines Philippines

Before anything else, you know that marriage is a serious thing with women Philippines, particularly for women who grew up in the Philippines Philippines. Be aware that there is no divorce in the Philippines, so people marry it really to seriously.

There are a lot of guys like you who want to marry a woman Philippines.Certains prefer to marry a Filipino woman in the Philippines, others want to date, a Filipino woman in their own city.

If you want to marry a Filipino woman in the Philippines, then here are some tips for you.

Be ready to join Philippines dating sites.

This is the fastest way to find Philippines Philippine women looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage.

It is easy to meet Philippines women online. You can now join Filipino dating sites and start to communicate with members. If you are willing to meet Philippines Philippine women only, then you have the possibility to do so.Usually, they are interested to meet a guy as you are looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage.

To make an attractive online dating profile.

I want to say it is that you absolutely must post a clear and good photo of yourself it should be recent and not a photo you several years ago.Note, you are looking to marry a Filipino woman.Don't forget that marriage is a serious matter, especially with women Philippines.

Prepare for travel to the Philippines.

If you do not want to join Filipino dating sites, and then you can visit the Philippines and find a Filipino woman there.This option is a little harder for you to meet the right girl, unless you already have some Filipino Friends travelling with you in the Philippines and you show and introduce you to Philippine single women whom they know.But, if you just jump on the plan in the Philippines, then you will likely encounter bad girls when you here, so be careful.

However, if you already meet women online Philippines and made friends with some of them, you will be have the possibility to select a few and then choose a girl among eux.Vous can then choose to meet this girl in the Philippines and come and visit and meet too many its famille.Si you are ready to meet his family, it displays sound you're really serious about it know better and your relationship with elle.Philippines have close family ties and his family is very important for him.

Be faithful and responsible.

Philippines women are very particular on fidelity, so you must show that it can you confiance.Si you've committed yourself a serious relationship with a woman Philippines, allow him to know that you want to say anything that you dites.Si tell you him that you return and marry, then faire.Si you tell him you will be do everything to bring in your country and marry, then faire.Si tell you him you love him, then it means all your time c?ur.Une you gained love a Filipino woman and compliance, you will feel like a very lucky man.

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